The greatest gift...

A few days ago I received one of the greatest gifts I could have ever imagined. I pulled up to my house and saw an orange box that was labeled "Shutterfly" and audibly wondered what I had gotten from the company. Did I order something and forget? Did my Mom make something for us? Mothers Day had passed by a few weeks prior and so I really could not figure it out. I walked inside, opened the box and saw the cover of the book with the words "Taylor, You are Beautiful!!!". I looked for a card and did not see one and so I did the exact opposite of what most people would think... I set the book down. I love surprises and like to enjoy things when I look at them. When I get something in my possession, I want to take my time when reviewing it. Heck, when Taylor was born I made sure everyone else in the room held her first so that when I finally got to hold her, I could take my time and enjoy the moment without feeling any pressure. THAT is what I wanted to do with this book. I didn't yet know who sent it, nor did I really know what the contents were within the book, but I knew that it would spark emotion and I knew that it was worth waiting to look inside. I had a few quick chores that I wanted to get done to complete my "cleaning Friday" list and so I got to them as swiftly as possible. As I mopped the floor I wondered who would take the time to do something so kind. I figured it was my Mom or my Sister. It had to be... right?! Finally, I checked off the last chore on the list and set off to my room to open the book. Torie was already pestering me about seeing it and I told her I would give it to her WHEN I WAS DONE. I shut my door and sat down and started reading. Within SECONDS I was balling my eyes out. Each page was filled of pictures of my beautiful little girl, followed by personal notes from friends, family, and even a few strangers (to me) who were friends with my siblings. I could not get over their kindness and the heartfelt words on each page. I literally cried through the entire forty four page book. When Nick called me on his way home from work, I told him about it and he became silent. I thought I had been disconnected when he finally said "that's wild... I cannot believe someone would do that for us". When he arrived home I excitedly showed it to him thinking that he would have a stronger reaction. However, one page in he became emotional as well. When he finished the book he walked into the kitchen, tears still in his eyes and our carefree Taylor followed him saying "dada, dada". A smile crossed his face as it did on mine and I know we were thinking the same thing. This little girl who is loved by so many, who is going to face struggles as she ages, has no idea the support system that is behind her. Her future just may be as carefree as it is at 18 months. When she feels down as she ages, she will have this book to look at and realize that she is not alone and that so many people think she is beautiful. A woman, who I went to school with my entire life facilitated this entire thing through Facebook and made this book for our family, for us to know that we are not going through this by ourselves. She set up an avenue for friends and family to share messages and she took the time to put it all together. Someone who was a distant friend did that FOR US. Her generosity means more than she will EVER know as do the comments from each person who contributed to the book. 

That book changed our lives. Friday was the first day that I actually felt hopeful that Taylor's future may not be clouded by feelings of inadequacy. As someone who struggled with insecurity my entire life, I have been fearful since the day of her diagnosis that I would not be the right person to lead her down this journey. Would someone who had a list of 17 cosmetic procedures that she wanted done in NINTH GRADE be the right person to support her daughter in a disease that is based solely on looks?? I did not know and I have struggled to put my "issues" aside to make sure that she does not have a narrow-minded view of beauty. However, in receiving this book, I know that we are not alone. It will not just be my husband and I telling her that she is beautiful. There is an entire book that will be prominently displayed in our house for her whenever she needs reassurance. She is BEAUTIFUL. Not just because of her outward appearance, but because of her personality. Hair or no hair, the notion is becoming less significant with each passing day...